Dilated and Dealing With It


Yesterday was a great day of circumstance in my little world of diabetes. I started the morning off rehearsing a brand new dirty song that Murray and I wrote and that will be performed at our next show. I’m curious to see how audiences react. I left our rehearsal at 1 PM and headed up to the Naomi Berrie Diabetes Center for the second time in a month. This time, I was going to visit the ophthalmologist.

My eyes checked out great and there were no signs of diabetic retinopathy. I came prepared with sunglasses and didn’t have to leave with the shades the center provides. If you never seen these, they are quite a sight. The sunglasses look like a hybrid of Ray Charles shades and 3-D movie glasses. To sum them up in two words: big and cheap.

So I left the eye doctor and headed to an audition for a commercial. My eyes were still a little foggy and when I arrived I had trouble making out the script. However the commercial was for…wait for it…that’s right, my archnemesis, Sugar in the Raw.

-- Keep an eye on your vision! Learn about preventive steps and treatments for diabetic retinopathy from retinal specialist Dr. Charles Wykoff. >>

Thankfully, there was not a whole lot of dialogue to read and it was mostly cheesy acting, which I’m decent at. As I sat down at the table to begin my audition, I saw my little nemeses scattered all over the table, empty brown carcasses that had spiked the blood sugars of those before me. When the time came to pour Sugar in the Raw into my coffee cup, I faked it. I know, I’m a rebel. I hope I receive a callback for this commercial and I think it would be wonderful to have a diabetic spokesman for Sugar in the Raw.

So after the Sugar in the Raw audition I had to head to Sirius Satellite Radio for work. I was hired to be a cameraman and film a one-hour radio show. However, my eyes were just getting back to normal. I think there must be nothing worse for a cameraman than having dilated eyes. To say the least, it made for an interesting day of work.

I’ll let you know if I receive a callback for the commercial. I think that my odds are slim, but if I see my agent’s phone number on my phone at the Mets game today, I’ll be sure to answer.

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Andy Stuckey: Andy Stuckey is originally from Alabama and now lives in Brooklyn, New York. He makes money working in television as a producer, writer, and director. His free time is spent playing the guitar, banjo, mandolin, and ukulele. If you stop him on the street, it is likely that he will refer to himself in the third person, as he is doing here. His pancreas does not work. He has Type 1 diabetes. (Andy Stuckey is not a medical professional.)

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