A Little Glitz, a Little Glam, to Give My Diabetes Stuff Some BAM!

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"Why," my grandson asked as he observed the sleeves of his short wetsuit flapping around on his toothpick arms, "do they assume that, just because you’re tall, you’re bigger around?"

"Why," I responded, "do they assume that, if you’re bigger around, you’re tall?"

Honestly, if I wanted a skirt that came to mid-knee, I’d have to buy a miniskirt.

I have the “typical” Type 2 body shape: big boobs, round belly, no tush, and skinny legs. With the number of people with Type 2 diabetes rising, I assume there are plenty of people out there with similar figures. You think an astute clothing manufacturer could corner the market if it would just cut the clothes to fit us a bit better?

Leafing through clothing catalogues for the “more to love” set, I see descriptions that say something along the lines of “fuller through the hips” and “fuller-cut legs.” Some promise spandex “for a perfect fit.” I can assure you that if a pair of pants are “fuller through the hips” and have “fuller-cut legs,” they ain’t gonna fit. Nope. The bottom and legs on those pants are going to flap like a flag on a windy day in March.

There’s more than one reason I prefer to wear skirts: They don’t have legs to deal with (hips are another matter, but not as obvious on skirts as on pants).

The other problem is that I can’t buy top and bottom sets of clothing. (Big boobs, no bottom, remember?) If I get a top that fits around my ta-tas, the bottom piece will fall off. If I get the bottom that fits, I’ll be popping the buttons on the top from here to Kansas.

Pockets. Pockets would be nice. Men have pockets in their clothing; why can’t women? Pockets for insulin pumps and continuous glucose monitor (CGM) receivers. Pockets for Byetta and Symlin (exenatide and pramilintide) pens. Pockets for a small meter, container of strips, and a finger-poker. It would be nice not to have to carry around a suitcase all of the time to hold diabetes-related supplies and equipment. It would be nice to have a pocket to put my pump and CGM in aside from the one between my, um, protuberances. (You haven’t lived until you’ve “lost” your pump in your bra in a restaurant and looked up to find everyone staring at the woman with the hand groping around under her shirt.)

By the way, guys, what do you carry all your diabetes stuff around in, anyway? Your briefcase? A man-purse? Camera bag? Fishing tackle box? I’ve always wondered.

Also, speaking of designers, I wish companies would also design medical equipment used by consumers (like those with a chronic condition such as diabetes) so that it doesn’t look like medical equipment. We are not a hospital, lab, or clinic.

Some meters and insulin pumps have some color and maybe a tad of pizzazz. For some, there are skins. But then they come with dull, everyday-looking cases. Blech! How about a little bling? Some style? A color or two (which would also help me find that case that’s dug its way to the bottom of a giant purse)? I want a flamingo print on my SymlinPen; pink sequins on my meter case; a purple pump.

Clothes that fit and glitz on my diabetes stuff. Is it too much to ask?

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