Diabetes Self-Management Blog

Can’t write about diabetes today. Or self-care, or the medical system, or science, or politics, or any of that stuff. Our granddaughter Anaya Grace was born on Saturday, and she has taken most of my mental space.

I started to write about how excited I was, including worrying that maybe I’m not excited enough. But an hour ago I got a call from our son, and they’re back at the hospital. Anaya became lethargic this morning and stopped nursing or wetting, and her temperature dropped to 96°. So the doctors told them to bring her to emergency, which is where they are now.

Probably, she’s just dehydrated. It was an extremely long labor, like 60 hours, and Mom and baby are both worn out. Seems like Mom’s milk isn’t really in, either. So probably it will all work out, but the drama makes it hard to think about other things.

Before this morning’s mini-crisis, I was really excited to be a grandparent. My friends who are grandparents kept telling me it’s the one of the greatest things that can ever happen to you, but Aisha and I thought it was not happening for us. Neither of our sons seemed too interested. Then all of a sudden, sort of, the baby was coming.

So all weekend I was taking BART across the San Francisco Bay to see the family at Kaiser Permanente Oakland Medical Center. My 88-year-old mother, now a first-time great-grandmother, met us there twice. She lives near the hospital and walked over to see Anaya and hang out.

But I kept thinking, “I’m not as thrilled as I expected to be.” Anaya was beautiful and really alert for a one-day-old, but you know, they don’t do much at that age. I think she’s great, but I didn’t feel an emotional rush. Not overwhelmed with love or gratitude, just kind of happy and pleased that she’s here and everyone seemed to be doing well. I wondered if there was something wrong that kept me from feeling more joy.

Of course, this morning they’re not doing well, so now I’m more anxious than thrilled. Dad and Mom are exhausted from being up nearly full time since last Wednesday with labor and everything since. Nobody can figure out how to help them, since we don’t know what’s wrong, really. Just be here for them, I suppose. As Diabetes Self-Management readers know, I don’t trust doctors much, but in this situation it seems we have to count on them.

Our son said they don’t need me over there now. When you’re disabled, sometimes you can’t help that much anyway. I do have a lot of knowledge of hospitals and medicine, but they’ve got other supporters for that, so I’ll probably save the three-hour round trip and stay home, unless I get too nervous.

So how can we help? And looking ahead, after they get through this rough time, what will Anaya need from her grandparents? Are there books on how to be a grandparent? I’d heard it was great because we’d get all the fun without all the responsibility we had as parents. But maybe responsibility isn’t all bad; it can make one feel needed. Replacing responsibility with powerless worrying, like this morning, has not been an improvement.

I write often about reasons to live. I had just posted a lovely piece on my blog, about animals enjoying life and why we should, too, when all this drama started. And now I’ve got this 7 lb, 10 oz reason to live, in the emergency room trying to stay alive herself.

I’m sure it will all work out. I’ll let you know what happens.


  1. Please write something soon! The powerlessness of being apart and unable to do something to help one’s dear child is something we all can relate to. Praying for you all and baby Anaya.

    Posted by Sheri |
  2. Thanks, Sheri. Well, Anaya went home two days ago, apparently all better. I guess she had a urinary tract infection. I don’t know how a three-day-old can get that, but that’s what they said. Anyway, it’s over now and everyone’s doing well, if tired.

    Posted by David Spero RN |
  3. Congratulations David. Don’t worry once they start talking you will wish they stop.

    Posted by calgarydiabetic |
  4. We are expecting our 1st grandchild in December. You are having the same feelings I am having. We waited so long for this little guy and now I don’t really know what to do or how to act. Our daughter has developed gestational diabetes and has a lot of questions, but she won’t come to us for answers, even though both of us are diabetic. Did you expect a bit of a bonding experience with your adult child during this process? I must have, because I am feeling a bit let down. Baby is due in December.

    Posted by Cathy A. |
  5. Hope everything works out OK for your granddaughter!

    David I wouldn’t feel too bad about being a little slow off the line at the bonding thing… I wasn’t very good either (took some time). Matter of fact I wasn’t that great with my own children (at first) and I was there for the births.

    For a lot of men it just takes longer than for the Mothers (gee I wonder why). However once the children grew on me and we got to know each other it became a beautiful love story.

    And I never was a good mother either… it really took some work. Good thing my wife understands men better then I did :)

    You’re a good man David — you and your Granddaughter will find each other.

    Posted by John_C |
  6. David,

    With my babies, I fell in love very quickly. But with my grandbabies it was different. Although my husband had a rush of emotion and felt very involved with them immediately, I did not.

    I just cannot explain that. I was very concerned about helping my daughter become a mother. About the grandbabies, I was pleased and proud and glad, but not really all that emotionally bonded until later.

    Now they are 8 and 10 years old. There was no one moment when the strong bond developed, it just grew gradually over time, and now is very strong.

    Posted by Beth |

Post a Comment

Note: All comments are moderated and there may be a delay in the publication of your comment. Please be on-topic and appropriate. Do not disclose personal information. Be respectful of other posters. Only post information that is correct and true to your knowledge. When referencing information that is not based on personal experience, please provide links to your sources. All commenters are considered to be nonmedical professionals unless explicitly stated otherwise. Promotion of your own or someone else's business or competing site is not allowed: Sharing links to sites that are relevant to the topic at hand is permitted, but advertising is not. Once submitted, comments cannot be modified or deleted by their authors. Comments that don't follow the guidelines above may be deleted without warning. Such actions are at the sole discretion of DiabetesSelfManagement.com. Comments are moderated Monday through Friday by the editors of DiabetesSelfManagement.com. The moderators are employees of Madavor Media, LLC., and do not report any conflicts of interest. A privacy policy setting forth our policies regarding the collection, use, and disclosure of certain information relating to you and your use of this Web site can be found here. For more information, please read our Terms and Conditions.

General Diabetes & Health Issues
Getting to Sleep and Staying There (09/24/14)
How Much Do You Know About Diabetes? Six Facts to Get You Thinking (08/25/14)
Doing Your Own Research (08/06/14)
Ensuring a Successful Hospital Stay (08/15/14)



Disclaimer of Medical Advice: You understand that the blog posts and comments to such blog posts (whether posted by us, our agents or bloggers, or by users) do not constitute medical advice or recommendation of any kind, and you should not rely on any information contained in such posts or comments to replace consultations with your qualified health care professionals to meet your individual needs. The opinions and other information contained in the blog posts and comments do not reflect the opinions or positions of the Site Proprietor.

Blood Glucose Self-Monitoring — Part 3: Smart Monitoring

10 Keys to Long-Term Weight Loss

Take Your Best Shot: Stay Up to Date on Vaccines

Complete table of contents
Subscription questions