Diabetes Self-Management Blog

I’ve had a pretty easy life, but illness has thrown some curves. Giving up sports, then dancing, then walking, things like that. For me, the key has been acceptance. We have to accept a situation before we can deal with it or change it.

Until I accepted that multiple sclerosis was real and wasn’t going away, I couldn’t rebuild my life after diagnosis. Likewise with diabetes, before you do the work — monitoring to learn how foods affect you, researching what might help, and trying new things — you have to first accept that you really do have diabetes. Otherwise, it’s way too hard.

I don’t think acceptance means giving up. We can accept and fight back. In fact, until we accept our illness, we probably can’t fight back. Denial is OK in small quantities; it gives you a break. But too much of it will do serious harm to a person with diabetes. We can dream about a medical cure or a magical healing, but those dreams probably interfere with the self-care needed to get control.

Acceptance isn’t only about illness. There are other things to accept, like the reality that we are all going to die some day. Eventually, we all lose everything we ever loved. Either it leaves us or we leave it. For me, accepting that reality has meant learning to enjoy and appreciate the things and people in my life, every day. It also has meant adopting a Buddhist attitude towards death — it’s not the end; it’s more like a very long nap between periods of living, as I wrote about here.

And then, what about all the terrible things that happen, especially the things people do to each other and to other living things? What about the environmental crises growing every day? What about wars and injustices happening all around us? Should we accept those? Can we?

For me, the best I can do is try to do a little something about a couple of issues. Not all the issues, just one or two. But first I have to accept that these situations are real. It’s not necessarily that some people are evil or crazy or ignorant. They’re just living the way they’ve been born and raised to live.

When it comes to being well, I think the most important part of acceptance is accepting yourself. It’s also one of the hardest. Most of us think we have a wide range of faults. Hopefully, these faults don’t involve hurting others, but we often blame ourselves for things that go wrong.

In reality, our behavior or genetics usually do play some part in our lives, but our physical and social environments do much more to shape who we are. Chronic illness researcher Nicola J. Davies, PhD, wrote a valuable piece on having compassion for yourself on our Web site. It’s worth reading.

I find that when I accept myself, it becomes easier to accept others. I feel more whole, stronger, so that other people’s words and behavior can’t affect me much.

A friend broke up with me a couple of months ago over things that seemed kind of trivial to me. She decided she didn’t like some of my attitudes about medicine and politics, and I hadn’t taken her side in an argument with a neighbor as she wished.

I was upset about the whole thing. But a few weeks ago, I had come to a place of greater wholeness. I accepted her as she is, and now the friendship seems healed. The thing is, until I felt more whole, I couldn’t see that I hadn’t been accepting her in the first place.

So I’m thinking acceptance is key to peace, and it’s also key to doing something about a situation. But feeling strong and whole is key to acceptance. They sort of go together, but I’m not exactly sure how. If you have any thoughts on the subjects, please let me know.

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Comments
  1. It would seem their are statements and phrases from Laotse and the Tao that would help enhance your blog and lesson that you have shared so well.

    Thank you.

    Posted by jim snell |
  2. David,

    Don’t let anyone knock your less conventional attitudes. Your advice and musings have been of great benefit to me personally on a number of different topics.

    I finally got my hands on some bitter melon. I ordered capsules online -they happened to be lower coat per dose than the tea, and less hassle to take- and the results surprised me. As I’ve said, I’ve had small successes with alternative meds in the past, so I wasn’t expecting much. In my case the improvement was immediate and significant. My average glucose readings dropped 15-20 points, and I’ve almost stopped needing fast acting supplemental insulin completely. I’m still taking oral meds and daily insulin, but the bitter melon has definitely reduced my glucose. Thanks for providing a wider perspective.

    Posted by Joe |
  3. Hi David,

    I truly believe that we all have the right to create our right life for ourselves, and we all have our own value to share with the world.

    I enjoyed reading your thoughts - at first I didn’t want to hear that you are accepting of the disease (ms) - meaning that you won’t try to work on curing it, but I was happy to hear you are finding general inner peace and strength within yourself. It’s truly amazing what the powerhouse of trust and faith can do for us.

    If you are open-minded to less conventional cures and understanding the real causes of disease, I’m leaving a link here for you to check out.

    http://www.cancertutor.com/Other03/MS.html

    I’m also utilizing this person’s knowledge to further my quest in curing my husband’s type 1 diabetes.

    http://www.cancertutor.com/Diabetes/Diabetes_Type_I.htm

    I also enjoyed your post on type 1 and environmental toxicity - that’s what lead me here. Thanks again.

    Sounds somewhat cheesy, but - never give up, never give in - I believe in you.

    Posted by Kaela |
  4. Thanks for the links and the kind words, Kaela. I’ll check them out.

    David

    Posted by David Spero RN |

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Living With Diabetes
An Introduction (06/25/14)
Wink at Diabetes (07/10/14)
The Foibles of Dealing with Diabetes (06/17/14)
Enjoy Your Life! (06/12/14)

Emotional Health
Diabetes Distress and Depression (07/09/14)
What Is Hardest About Diabetes for You? (05/28/14)
Diabetes Friends (05/06/14)
Attraction and Repulsion (04/24/14)

 

 

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